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دوشنبه 29 خرداد 1396  03:34 ق.ظ
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Agamemnon: Im so sad.Old Man: Yo, whats up?Agamemnon: Helen, that hot chick from Troy, picked my brother Menelaus to marry. But Paris stole her. Now we gots to get her back, but some prophet said that we cant leave to do that until I kill my daughter Iphigenia!Old Man: Uh... okay.Agamemnon: Take this letter to my wife. I sent her one already that lied and said that I was marrying Iphigenia to the hot dude Achilles, but this one says it was all a lie and not to come here. I dont want to kill my daughter.Menelaus: Whats this? A letter?Old Man: No! Give it back!Menelaus: *reads the letter* That bastard!Old Man: Agamemnon! Help!Agamemnon: What is going on?Menelaus: You tell me.Agamemnon: Uhh... why do you have my letter?Menelaus: A-HA! Youre going back on your promise to kill your daughter! Youre a lying bastard!Agamemnon: Yeah, well... at least I dont have a whore for a wife!Menelaus: You were never a good leader at all! No one can count on you. Greece is going to lose to Troy and I will never get my wife back because you wont kill your daughter.Agamemnon: You are married to a whore and you would have a young girl slain just to get your wife back! Why should I kill my daughter, who has nothing to do with the whole mess, just so you can keep a whore?Menelaus: Grrr.Agamemnon: Grrr back at you.Messenger: Iphigenia and her mother, your wife Clytemnestra have arrived!Agamemnon: Oh, shit.Menelaus: Yo, dude. Wait. I totally see your point now. Lets not kill Iphigenia, k?Agamemnon: Whoa, dude... I didnt expect this. Um, too bad that I decided that I am going to sacrifice her after all. Otherwise, the guys that I told about the sacrifice would be pissed at me and would probably kill me.Iphigenia: I love you, daddy!Agamemnon: I love you too.Iphigenia: I am blessed to be married to Achilles!Agamemnon: *drops lots of hints about the fact that hes actually going to kill her*Clytemnestra: So who is this Achilles?Agamemnon: A good man.Clytemnestra: Okay, let me handle the wedding stuff.Agamemnon: No, no, no-- go home to be with your other daughters, Ill take care of everything.Clytemnestra: Uh... the domestic realm is MY realm, thank you very much. You cant stop me.Agamemnon: Oh, shit.Achilles: I am Achilles!Clytemnestra: Oh. Hello, Achilles.Achilles: Whats up?Clytemnestra: Nothing, just preparing for your wedding to my daughter.Achilles: What? I am not being married.Clytemnestra: What? Yes you are.Achilles: Am not.Clytemnestra: Oh, shit.Old Man: Yo, guys. Cmere. Agamemnon just lied; hes going to sacrifice Iphigenia. He sent a letter telling you not to come, but his brother took it.Clytemnestra: Damn him!Achilles: I will not allow your daughter to die; let me be a man and protect her!Clytemnestra: Okay.Agamemnon: Let us prepare Iphigenia!Clytemnestra: Uh... I have a bone to pick with you.Agamemnon: Go ahead.Clytemnestra: Are you trying to kill our daughter?Agamemnon: What makes you think such a thing?!Clytemnestra: Are you trying to kill her, or not?Agamemnon: Oh, shit. Yes, I am. Sorry.Clytemnestra: You bastard. You took me into marriage by force, I gave you children, treated you well even though you were a bastard, and you repay me by killing our first-born child? To honor some whore?Agamemnon: *gulps*Iphigenia: Dont kill me! A lowly virgin am I.Agamemnon: Damned if I do, damned if I dont.Clytemnestra and Iphigenia: *weep*Achilles: A mob is coming!Clytemnestra: What?Achilles: I tried to tell them they wouldnt kill Iphigenia and they stoned me. They are coming to kill her themselves.Clytemnestra: Oh noes!Achilles: Dont worry; Ill protect her!Iphigenia: No, you wont. I am sacrificing myself.Clytemnestra: WHAT??Iphigenia: It is an honor to sacrifice myself for Greece. Ill be like, famous and shit. To the altar!later...Messenger: Extra! Extra!Clytemnestra: What now?Messenger: Your daughter is alive.Clytemnestra: What? How?Messenger: She went to sacrifice herself and when the priest went to slit her throat, everyone looked away. When they turned back, there was a deer killed in her place.Clytemnestra: Joy!Messenger: But your daughter is still gone. But shes at least still alive, right?Clytemnestra: WTF?

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دوشنبه 30 مرداد 1396 08:32 ق.ظ
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سه شنبه 17 مرداد 1396 07:40 ق.ظ
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دوشنبه 9 مرداد 1396 09:23 ق.ظ
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